the good and the bad

Bad Stuff:
we have been recovering from gio's awesome birthday week of parties and getting back on track. Like always sleep has been an issue, well it was an issue when gio turned 5 mo. when he was sleeping a good 5-6 hr and then went to waking up every hour which was due to the ear infection or teething. anywhoo at times it can be good and then some nights are ok. We were fine with everything but due to all the party planning we were staying up really late, meaning gio was sleeping by himself in bed and sleeping longer periods of time without us....boo! i know i know...it was me keeping him up. not that i woke him up, but in his times of passing that period of do i wake up or just roll over and keep sleeping, he obviously knows the milk buffet is present and rather have that then roll over and keep on sleeping, sometimes not always. So obviously Gio is one, since I keep saying it over and over again, i love it. Ok back to topic when we went to 1 yr check-up the doc and I did not agree on certain things especially sleeping. I just listened to his rude suggestions and went on our way. Well I nurse gio to sleep, well we used to for the past two months it was off and on, he did or didn't and then roll around till he fell asleep. Well lately he has been nursing to sleep and I treasure those special moments but like clockwork in 45 min he is up. Well hubby walked in and shhed him down but it didn't quite work and then I went in, hubby very frustrated that I interrupted, quieted Gio down, I left then gio started up again, hubby laid down with him until he fell asleep. He rolled around in frustration and cried, it was eating me up inside. I was not happy with hubby at all. I know gio was "crying" but when I would previously go in he would instantly smile and then hug me, so crocodile tears...smart lil man. Well anywhoo, 45 min pass and then all is quiet..I didn't go in because I needed to calm down and fell asleep outside. I heard gio stir twice thru the nite for less than 5 min...hmm he woke up, I went in to feed him first thing in the morning. Next nite, same process but this was worse, he really fought daddy, i was dying inside, I always told Luan that I would not do this and if he wanted to, then he had to manage and stay strong because I would never let Gio CIO. Thankfully I guess I am happy he is in there with him, but I hate hearing Gio especially when he is calling out for me. Well after the initial long process he slept through the nite, he might have stirred once. Day 3, it was great some wailing but sleep. Day 4 sleeps except he wakes up at 5 crying for 3-5 min then goes back to sleep. Tonight not so good, I put gio down like I usually do, like clockwork 45 min he wakes up which he hadn't and then the process takes 30 min with me, I hate it and I hate myself, it goes against everything I believe in. I feel horrible I am not going to lie, hubby is happy because Gio is sleeping and so am I, but at what cost? I am happy at least that hubby is in there talking or calming gio down through the process, because if he would have left him by himself, yea this wouldn't be a topic on here, because it would not be happening at all, trust me, so I guess him being in there makes me feel 5% better....=( People have different beliefs in raising their kids, this is mine and hubby's like it or not, this is our way for now. I hate it, I am thankful for hubby for taking the lead, but I feel disconnected to my lil man. Now this part is about me, Hubby is obviously making a difference but I cannot sleep with my boys because I do not want to mess up Gio's sleeping. FYI gio's crib is more for storage =p and soon will be converted to a toddler bed, maybe that might interest him. For now we both have decided that we are happy to be co-sleeping, we actually enjoy it, I will wait and test the waters soon as to when it will be safe to rejoin them because I do not want to mess up what hubby is doing, but I miss cuddling with my boys. I do enjoy that Gio is nursing more throughout the day since he had developed a drive-thru mentality because he doesn't want to give up playing with his toys and would catch up at nite. Obviously we live with my mom and grams who are both in disagreement and voicing their opinions to me at every opportunity. Either I am a good or bad mom, right now I am not a good one and supposedly weaning him. Listen in this house, I am the only woman to Breastfeed for this long and I am going into unchartered territories with continuing to BF. Either I did too much of it, then not enough, I mean the comments and opinions never stop and when it comes to BF, back the F up, because I am doing the best for my child and if you do not share that opinion great, I do not care. Annoyed just a little, if you can't tell. So far I should be sleeping since my boys are sleeping, and I'll be off soon.

Good Stuff:
Gio is on the verge of walking, he holds on to your hand and goes until he realizes that crawling is faster..=p He is a speed crawler! He wakes up in the morning and hops out of bed then crawls directly into Tita's room. (Our bed is on the floor and he has mastered swinging his legs over/down and off he goes) Her door is always slightly open and he just pushes himself through and welcomes himself right in, it's hilarious. Then he helps me make the bed by lifting the covers I just laid down. He helps me change him by lifting his arms into the sleeves 1by1 ( he has been doing this for a while but I kept forgetting to mention it) Since we kept pointing our index finger showing him he was 1, he now points to everything. He has so many toys and books, but what does Gio love the most? Balloons and empty coffee cans. He loves balloons and knows how to pull down the string to get to the actual balloon. We were in Central Market today for a late lunch and there were balloons everywhere, he kept pointing to them and trying to reach for them. Uncle Toan was trying to persuade Gio to steal another kids balloon, but we walked away from the crazy talk and went to find one for Gio. We scored a balloon and crayons from CM and he played with his balloon while we ate lunch. I was joking around with him and he was cracking up so much, everyone was staring, his laughter was so contagious and loud. This lady could not stop staring at him and then later commented that Gio was so good and that I should hurry up and have three more boys, because Gio was so perfect. She later started talking on her cellphone and Gio could not stop staring at her and focused on her conversation, nosy little boy...=p I wonder where he gets that from? No comments please. =p On our way home he was playing with BaNoi and cracking up some more, I couldn't help but to record. I could not stop laughing the whole way home, they are hilarious and Gio gets away with anything with his Grandma's! Oh yea with feeding someone is starting to get picky, he likes his vegetables just fine, but pasta is a no go, he spits it right out or if something is too tough or something spits it right out. Aggh the adventures of a toddler can't wait to see what is in store for us.

Love you Giovanni! See you under the coconut tree!