week 1

Day 1-Friday
We finally wake up from a hectic night, we had to wake Giovanni up to feed because he was so sleepy from birth. Poor little guy, it also didn't help that his mom and dad kept prodding him throughout the night to see if he was breathing and ok. He slept in this co-sleeper right between us. As much as I needed rest, I couldn't stop staring at him and nothing could stop me from trying to listen to his breathing. He was just so precious to turn away from.

Ba Noi (Luan's Mom) arrives early in the morning and drives all by herself to our home for the first time. She usually doesn't drive past a 6 mile radius from her house, because she gets lost easily. By the way we live 45 min away from her, so this was a big step for her. She meets her grandson and immediately cuddles him and he is officially in her arms. I try to get some rest, but I'm on this adrenaline boost that won't stop. I am constantly being forced to drink liquids and eat thanks to my loving husband, because with a cute little bundle of joy in your presence your forget everything else. We get ready because we have to take Giovanni to his first Pediatrician appointment, Mom, Dad and both grandmas in tow. We meet Dee the Nurse Practioner, she is very warm and easy to talk to. Dr. Wolens is great as well, but its nice to have a mom who can relate. He checks out great and we are sent home with a followup visit on Monday. Later in the day, Lucy, Iliana, Adolfo, Toan, Yasmin and Om Noi (Luan's Dad) arrive to meet Mr. Giovanni. He does well with all the visitors, but I think I overdid it and exhaustion kicks in quickly.

Day 2-Saturday
Another crazy night, we have to get used to fast, because our lives are forever changed in the best possible way. My loving husband is amazing, I feed and he burps and changes Giovanni, so that I can get some rest. He once again slept between us, but we couldn't rest comfortably...lol. We couldn't help ourselves, from staring at him to making sure he was ok, sleep was out of the question. Ba Noi arrives once again and takes her little grandson for safe keeping in her arms. My poor mom is running from work to home and back to work. Luan makes sure I soak in my herbal bath, because exhaustion, pain and soreness have finally kicked in big time! My neck, back and thighs burn with exhaustion and pain. It finally hit me and I need help moving about because I feel so weak. Lucy and Iliana arrive again. We spend the day in and out from feedings and attempted rest.

Day 3- Sunday
Wow, Nights and Days go by so fast, I am still in some pain, but its all worth it once I look at Giovanni. Ba Noi arrives in the morning and then later Om Noi. They take the lil man for some grandparent time. I try to soak, eat and rest while they are entertaining him. Bernie arrives for my 48 hr postpartum visit. She does Giovanni's Newborn Screen and examines me. I am lectured that I need to soak more and now to start walking at least 30 min a day. Umm sure, i'm swollen and pained in that area, walking is out of the question. While she is examining me, Luan's Cousin Uyen and her family arrive. They are excited to meet the baby, and I am trying to pay attention to Bernie as they come in and out trying to see him. Finally Luan brings them the baby, as we finish up with Bernie and then I'm done. I chat with Uyen and Scott as Luan plays with Olivia and Ethan. Where my hubby has all that energy is a surprise to me. We eat dinner, as I watch TV as my lil guy feeds, I was watching the Little Couple and thanked god that my baby was healthy and not in the NICU at Texas Children's Hospital (TCH) where Dr. Jen Arnold works at in the show. I am overcome with anxiety, I just want everything to be perfect for my lil guy and only wish to be a good mother. Luan calms me down as he usually does and I continue to breathe. Giovanni finally falls asleep later that night, to only wake Mommy and Daddy up every hour to feed, he is finally hungry. He has latched on amazingly and has not complained with my colostrum and new addition of milk that is slowly coming in.

Day 4- Monday
Luan goes back to work, poor guy, we barely got any sleep with hourly feedings. I'm excited because my cousin Danny and BF Denise are arriving today to meet my lil man. My mom brings me breakfast in bed and I tell her about my anxieties, she reassures me that it is normal and once I get more rest, I will feel better. We hurry about because we are running late to our pedi appt. We arrive 15 min late and warned that next time we will be bumped to another day. Woops. Dee greets us and guess what Mr. Giovanni has gained weight now 8lbs 5oz. Not bad. She assured me that I was doing a great job, because most newborns lose 10% weight in first two weeks and then regain it. I have a list of questions for her and she answers them all. I expressed concern that I had gotten a cold sore and if it was contagious to him, she said nope keep breastfeeding, but well check him out thoroughly. She starts examining him, everything is fine and then she gets to his mouth, she is using a tongue depressor and then excuses herself. She brings back Dr. Wolens, to take a second look. They explain to me that they have found two sores in the back of his mouth and are concerned. Dee calls in a referral to doc at TCH to confer the situation. She then starts to tell us, that we should go to the ER at TCH immediately for some tests to be run, to ruleout possible Herpes or Meningitis. What? My heart stops and my world is turning upside down. My freaking cold sore, that I get when I stress or become dehydrated has caused all this, I have brought all this upon my child. She assures me that this couldn't have been prevented and that its better to be safe than sorry, because if we wait for symptoms to arise it could be too late. What, but everything was looking good, she had just mentioned how perfect he was. She takes me out of the room to talk as my mom holds Giovanni, she calms me down and all I want is to go home with my baby. I need Luan immediately. Giovanni starts to cry and I feed him, but Dee tells us to hurry up and go because the wait in the ER can be long. I call Luan, but only get voicemail, he finally calls back and I tell him to rush to TCH ER, he takes it in stride and tells me he will be right there. What turned out to be a routine follow-up is now a nightmare.

We rush off to the ER, my baby is sound asleep and I am going crazy inside. Luan finally arrives and we are escorted to private room. My healthy baby is now surrounded by sick people. I worked so hard to bring him into this world safe and natural and now he was going to be prodded and poked thanks to me, I kept apologizing to Luan for bringing disease and misfortune to our son. Luan was in total shock as I, and he was so reassuring that this was out of control and that our child was ok. The ER resident finally meets our son, we tell her the situation and she examines Giovanni...she sees nothing. I tell her to call our Pediatician because they made us come and I want to make sure this is nothing so we can go home. She returns with her supervisor and they examine him again, they finally see what the sores in the back of his palate. They are not alarmed but have to talk to Infectious Disease to confer the diagnosis. They explain that this is not a common presentation of herpes, usually there are sores or blisters around the body in a newborn, but that it is very fatal and they must check to make sure. They finally return and yes Giovanni, must be tested and stay for observation. My heart breaks again. They are going to take a urine sample using a catheter, blood, and a lumbar puncture. I was mortified, i didn't even get an epidural and my poor son had to go through a lumbar puncture. The nurses and residents in the ER did their best to do everything right the first time. The LP took twice to perform and my poor son was so strong, his cries broke my heart. They put an IV in his left hand to administer the acyclovir that would be given for the next 48 hrs. The antiviral medicine would take out any possible herpes or meningitis, if he had it. We were told that we would be in the NICU and that I might not be able to stay with Giovanni. i stayed calm knowing this would be crazy i was not going anywhere!

Day 4/5 Tuesday- We go to the NICU, our nurse Lisa, allows us to stay with him, she is wondering why we are here. The resident on duty tells me well we are here because of you not the baby. My heart sinks. I have brought this all upon him. He is sound asleep and in a jail looking like crib. I can only hold him if I am awake. I can't keep him in my arms if I am sleeping. I am given a recliner and Luan is given a wooden rocker. We are in a corner by ourselves surrounded by crying babies, who have been left with only the nurses to take care of them. The night or early morning slowly drags on. Our new morning nurse Faylee arrives, I ask for a private room if available and ask the new resident as well. Luan goes home to change and get some supplies, since this was so unexpected. Thankfully my baby continues to thrive in the midst of chaos and his mom growing phobia of him contracting something in the hospital. Around 12, the resident comes by and gives me the best news ever, we got a private room!!!! Luan is back and we hurriedly pack everything up. Yes we are still in the hospital, but a private room just us three.

We spend the rest of the day more rested despite our surroundings. They have a pull out bed and we snuggled up together. The Director of Infectious Disease arrives to examine baby. She suspects with his continued health and no other symptoms that this might have been a injury by a tongue depressor or when they cleaned him out during birth. If all tests are negative, we can leave...so another 24 hr wait. My heart is giddy with excitement, I am certain my baby is healthy, but what else do u do when they give u such a negative possibility, you rule it out. last thing you want to say is we should have....

Day 6-Wednesday, Luan and I use this time to rest and spend 100% with Giovanni as we wait for the results. Around 3 pm, two residents walk in and announce that all tests results were negative. Nothing was wrong with my child!!! We are free to go home. His IV is taken out, we pack and call my mom to pick us up. We are overjoyed and the stress is finally lifted from my heart and shoulders. My mom arrives to pick us up and as we are on our way home, I silently pray as I have been and Thank God for taking care of us. We drive up to our home and welcomed by It's a Boy Signs and Congrat Banners. We settle into our home and keep thanking god for such a strong and healthy boy.

Day 7-Thursday. Giovanni is a week old. We survive the night and I am ready to put this awful experience behind me, although to be honest I am traumatized. I have to take Giovanni in for a followup in 4 days and dreading it, He was scheduled for his circumcision on Friday, we are still so unsure on whether we want to do it, that Bernie suggests we take a week to de-stress and enjoy our son. Luan decides we should go look at his crib that we have been eyeing especially since we got all these coupons to use. But how are we going to leave him, I am his only source of food. Luan said to bring him. I at first never wanted to take him out unless doctor appts for the first month. But after what we had been through, I said ok, It's a fresh start. So we are cleaning up room, packing his diaper bag, We wanted to leave house by 1pm. Well naps, feedings, cuddling him turned out to be a departure time of 4pm. We go to Target first, my heart is racing with anxiety, what if he gets sick, what if someone coughs on him or near him. I put on my Moby wrap and place him close to my chest. He is of course sound asleep and all snuggled up. I start to breathe easier. but then I feel like he might overheat, so we take off his sweater. Im getting tired as we walk along, I am still recovering from delivery and decide we should leave. We pick up some Jamba Juice and then head to Babies R Us. He is the Moby once again, but I start getting a panic attack. Then Giovanni wakes up ready to eat. We rush into the Mother's room for feeding and I slowly calm down. He finishes up and this new mom walks in. Luan departs so she can feed her child and I change Giovanni. She asks about his age and gasps when I say he is a week old. She lectures me and tells me to go home and rest, I should not be walking around and he should be home. My panic attack begins again, I find Luan and we leave. When we are finally home, I am more settled, but in tears. What if my child gets sick. Luan calms me down, I can't think like that, but he reassures me that we do not have to take him out till he is a month old, if it makes me feel better.

Giovanni, Mommy is truly sorry that you had to endure everything in your first week of life, especially since you had a wonderful birth. We love you my dear so much and strive daily to provide you a wonderful life!